The Woman Who Wanted to Go Home

March on the coast was cool and cloudy. Isolated and damaged, she waited again for her sister to visit as promised for the last 3 years. Then the attack happened, internet intermittent and communications screeched to a grind. Her face hurt and getting away to safety was a priority. No one was coming to help. The limited times for communication were not used for trying to sell her furniture, there was seldom time to reach for help. The loss was substantial, but she believed that going home was going to be worth it. Family was waiting; or so she thought.

The voices on the other end of a newly initiated cell service was to keep her safe on the journey. Nerve wracking winds were the cause for a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. Home. Many with a brain injury became angry people. Not so for her. Scared, hurt, disappointed. Yes. Angry, no.

Arriving home was not what was expected or even intimated. She was immediately an imposition, ‘unwanted’ reverberated though her head. She was not well. But how could she tell them what was happening inside her head and heart. She had a concussion and trying to explain was difficult enough. Trying to look normal, she stuck to simple things to do and say.

Upon arrival in Illinois, her sense of loss was profound. Every African male had the same accent as the attacker. Even the emergency room was unsafe. There was not even a number to call her long lost aunt or cousins for safety. She fled. Back down the road she collapsed. Bed bugs in the dingy hotel, no one to talk her to safety.

The rational of the Ozarks won out. There was no assistance for her and she would only be a burden for her family. Financially destitute, even asking for healthy food and a dentist to fix the damaged tooth would have been met with disdain.But the process to speak up was so difficult for her. Too many slaps down can break anyone.

That is not how she wanted to be returning home, a burden. Already being informed that Sister was not going to be there very often, the sense of drowning closed in. She dutifully went away. Days later after receiving notice that the long separated cousins were connecting, she wept.

You see, years of being told to take her light to the den (her music) and finding that nobody knew that she had been hurt 5 years into a brain injury, was perplexing. How could being told she was loved compute? She was just a conspiracy theorist. They could not see the historian and researcher. Why bother, she would never be a paper-plate, pre-mixed, CNN devotee.

To this day, she believes that her skills and experiences can help others. But the voice of her sister is a deafening silence. Twenty-two hundred miles and now she is no longer called on holidays. The silence given by Aunt (never being told why or given opportunity to heal) now is given by Sister.

Oh, she was ready to be home. In spite of the lifetime of torture and ignore, she was ready to be home. She daydreamed of the possibilities even though a fear of being relegated to the back room, down the street or left alone was keen. She not only needed acceptance, she wanted to share so much love that had no where to go. Working for governments was over and seems her inventions would go unnoticed. Were they afraid of her rocking the boat and taking a morsel of someone’s attention? Smart was never wanted. She spent decades wishing she were small. It didn’t work.

Yes, she would have worn the pearls again. But just that question and ensuing silence took the wind. She will never have the strength of spirit to love, laugh or live now. She boxed them up in tears with a loving note that said to call and she would tell her which earrings were the topaz, etc. There was no call. Not even the stories of her jewels were welcome. How can a sense of self and value survive this loss. She wished someone would have said welcome, you belong here.

She is pleased Sister has found the cousins (too late for herself). Sister will need their support. Keeping her sense of ‘right’ intact. One linked her on Face Book, but not a word hello noting they were offering help as a way of life. She wished she was stronger after the long journey. She would have asked for help. She wished for the confidence of her Admin/IT career and moreover, the confidence of the poet, musician and inventor inside that knew she was lovable, smart and funny. She was just lost and unwanted from birth. Seems the love of a challenging God was all she would come to know.

Nobody will know her stories, they will just wear her stones. The sadness contained will wear away by sitting in Sister’s closet waiting to be passed to the many daughters that could never get to know the woman who wanted to come home.

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Red Radio Button

By Cathy R. Taylor Croizier ©2017 Casey Teeter All Rights Reserved I wake in cold sweat terror from the red of the radio button in front of me waiting recording my vote forever Sisters of Another M…

Source: Red Radio Button

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Red Radio Button

By Cathy R. Taylor Croizier ©2017 Casey Teeter All Rights Reserved

I wake in cold sweat terror
from the red of the radio button
in front of me waiting
recording my vote forever

Sisters of Another Mother
I call to you frightened

Selecting ‘yes’ I speak
For what little I can do
You, on the front line
You, hold my respect
my prayers
my worry and my fears
in your hands
As I sit muffled and muzzled
staring at the button
terrified to let it fly from my sight
Fear that it will bring down upon me
that which rains upon you
That you take so willingly

Oh the courage

Oh my Sisters of Another Mother
Would that my skin was not called white
Would that the colours of my
soul actually shine through

Sisters of Another Mother
You stand and fight beside our brother
I call you from this wicked bed
that gives me comfort
as our land turns red
My body infirm
by wounds of other battles

I cannot run with you
Yet I howl for many years
Shedding the tears
of this day

I cannot stand with you
In the name of freedom
save for the courage
to press this red-radio button

And I do
Sisters of Another Mother
I have let my voice-vote fly
that it can comfort you in the cold
Fighting for all souls

Let it carry the gratitude
for your youth, strength
conviction and power
Let it quickly end the days of torment
Now and forever

You are not alone
You carry the world beside you
even those too weak to speak
in assent

Would that I were not white
Condemned by the term
I scream from my colourful deep
A Pink Woman
I am mottled marble
arising from the oppression of PR
Programmed and drugged silence
I am drummer dancer
the tree have called me daughter
I am silence, now voiced

Sisters of Another Mother
You are not alone
We walk the night to truth
as Mother Earth
courses her anguish through our feet
rising our tears until they choke
our screams of shame
for not being enough

I am Pink
Is it enough
To grant passage
To well-received words
of Gratitude.

By Cathy R. Taylor Croizier ©2017 Casey Teeter All Rights Reserved

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By Cathy R. Taylor Croizier ©1997 Casey Teeter All Rights Reserved

You want to take her down, You wanna throw her around
You ain’t got no right…No matter what she looks like
No right!

I’m ashamed of the ways our society plays
With our values in this polarized plight
I’m ashamed of the ways our society preys
On it’s victims in the dark of the night

You want to take her down, You wanna throw her around
You ain’t got no right…No matter what she looks like
No right!

I’m ashamed of the ways our society stays
In the limits of our ancient broken mind
I’m ashamed of the ways our society takes
All the dreams from an innocent time

You want to take him down, You wanna throw him around
You ain’t got no right…No matter what he looks like
No right!

I’m ashamed of the ways our sovereignty stays
Buried by the legalized suit
I’m ashamed of the plays our protectors will make
In the game of cutting ancient peoples roots

You want to take them down, You wanna throw them around
You ain’t got no right…No matter what they look like
No right!

By Cathy R. Taylor Croizier ©1997 Casey Teeter All Rights Reserved

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Dating A Conspiracy Factist-Over Fifty?

Awake? Check. Informed? Check. Well researched? Check. Discerning? Check. Now add single, over 50 and wanting to date. Check. No luck, double-check! What gives? I’m a poet, intellect, historian, researcher, cook, artist, geek, musician, sister, mother and more. I like to grow my own food with the herbs just outside the door. I have studied and practiced (in moderation) longevity awareness since very young. Oh, and I can be funny, witty and even silly – I am a Virgo/Dog like Sophia Loren and love the classic comedy. Canadiana.

Decades of being labeled conspiracy theorist is over as the awareness now past critical mass – or the 100th monkey phenomenon. Its been conspiracy fact now being exposed on the highest levels world-wide.

So what is wrong with this picture in meeting someone new? In saying that I stay informed on politics; they question with the word ‘elites’. If I note my interest in science and physics, I receive no further correspondence. It goes on and I’m sure the only statement that would generate interest is: I cook, clean, sew and screw like Quadishtu (i.e. sacred slut). However, that is just a drop in the bucket and being someone’s silent sex slave is just plain boring. I may be a ‘factist’, but I’m sooo much more.

Anyone over 50 might get it, and those nearing 60 or 70 see the difficulties in meeting unreal expectations of the opposite sex, not to mention of opposite views. If you are historically well versed in politics, religion and sex it can be very intimidating to those choosing the simple life. I almost envy them that choice. As a teen I wanted to be a minister, but abhorring dogma, that was not to be my destiny. Instead I chose Admin/IT as my field and that led to becoming an editor, researcher and geek working with governments/institutions in three countries.

I love to learn. That can be a problem. You see, I learned that generally, men want to be smarter. Not a problem when you are young and distracting a man was easier. They can be very adept at turning off your words when those pretty lips start moving, oh my! And, finding a fellow that can appreciate common sense and efficiency in a woman over 50 is dicey.

Then there are the dating sites. I smile to myself in recalling my recent adventurousness into the realm of the online dating profile. How do I not look like a whack job in the intro? One site has a series of survey questions – pretty benign. Another had literally no questions and I presume they wanted my photo to complete the five lines of statistics; height, weight, etc. (I passed on this ‘meat-market’ approach pretty quick.)

So how does one find a lovely chap that just might want a date in time for the holiday season? I’m letting my married lady friends know that I’m ready to start meeting and dating not just to secure a future relationship, but to begin socializing in my community. That’s a start. I think trusting that my friends or yours might just see a blessing in the making.

To any of my friends reading this: If you know an awake, compassionate and accepting soul looking to explore for the next 30-50 years with eyes open, send me the questionnaire. I’d be happy to join the conversation. My hero is out there and I am ready to be found.

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Get It Together AVAAZ!

Ok, I’m a fan of do-gooders everywhere, but get real.

I have followed AVAAZ from inception. I signed many petitions. However, 2 years ago I watched you sell out.

Now, instead of seeing the real danger of a Clinton administration you are politicizing your platform even more leftist by attacking Trump over the Paris Climate Deal – that is not in place yet. Talk about counting chickens!

Any policies by Trump will have more input by the People than ever before, why don’t you save your rhetoric for something important, like the Paris accord, and REALLY make a difference; like stopping deadly pesticides instead of spending tax money on mini-bee drones. Your absence on heavy issues has been part of my criticism and has proven you pinpoint issues that you can make a difference on – or so you think.

Yes, climate change is real. But, when are you going to do the research (instead of regurgitating policy) and see that the change is Solar System wide – not just by Corporate and natural footprints (that Clinton will perpetuate – look at Standing Rock!). Get educated!

The imperialistic expansion will come to a screeching halt, how ever it ends, it will end. Maybe Trump will slow US down a bit so the world can regroup and re-evaluate what really matters – like, um, co-operation. Inflicting US CORPORATE values in 30 other countries and through the Standing Army of the Obama dictatorship on US soil should really be on your radar. Why is it not? Are you afraid of the force of oppression being aimed at you? Maybe you should re-evaluate your position, intelligence and ability to have an open mind. Trump has these qualities. He has a record of learning from his mistakes where most politicians simply live in lies and denial.

You can tell people not to vote for Trump all you want, but the message is ‘Vote for Clinton’. She is a woman without morals and as one who has had a security clearance and its responsibilities Continue reading

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Facebook Demands for ID are Extortion and more…Casey Teeter

So they want my What? Two pieces of official ID, one of which must be photo just to access an account that I read says I am logged into? I can’t get past a security check requesting said ID. And, you can’t search for my account by specific name, either, as my friends tell me. Locked out, extorted and invisible?

Yes, my ID and password are correct. I am logged in and now being ransomed for ID or my birth date. Having chosen a random date for my nom de plume profile created over a decade ago, I have relied on my security questions. No more. Many have done this and now have lost photos, contacts, articles and more. Confiscated and held ransom by the CIA controlled Facebook. I have to question their many other violations, say copyrights.

I have nothing to hide, having been so protective. But, I fall into several categories that deem caution and security necessities. Privacy creates the need for security and they have no right to be in my panty drawer! That’s where they are. Even my iPad, camera and phone take photos and make recordings. You can check the back files to see when (if you do) you connect to your laptop using Explorer and avoid the product software. There are some cute little files in there.

Tell me, are those ads on your page relevant to you? Of course they are. That’s third-party companies using your data. So, do I trust FB with my security as one who needs protection. Most certainly not. Their policies place me in danger and predators in an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now, beyond extorting my ID, add the harassment of the constant changes making access more difficult for elderly, brain-damaged and vision challenged. Last I checked there are 52 pages of legalese in their policy. It didn’t start that way, ask any long time user. How many rules have you broken since you simply accepted the policy because you simply want to see photos of the family? How long before they shut you down? Those policy changes come at an astonishing rate. It has become a form of torture; mental and emotional abuse. Still plenty of baby-boomers to create a wave on those grounds…any lawyers out there? Input welcome.

A recent search shows individual and class-action legal suits against FB for their use of extortion, privacy violations and shareholder swindling. Wikipedia has a very interesting and thorough page named Criticism of Facebook in which obvious FB or federal attempts to discredit shine clear. Time to clean house.

Last year or so, when a new social network came online, out of Iceland and protected from the NSA et al, any user posting information or invitations on FB were censored…how’s that for abuse of power?

Just on a brief search with “class action Facebook legal” shows Austria has an ongoing global class suit. The link to the timeline is below. has an update from November 23rd 2015. Seems an international mass surveillance law (EJC Safe Harbour) has been violated and the case now sits in Austrian Supreme Court. FB still thinks they can appeal the court as the long arms of oppression – AlCIA duh (that is a hard C as in K), the Feds and corporate lobbyists – are going work their bully tactics by ‘hammering’ a new Safe Harbor agreement.

CIA: can’t beat ’em, change global law. Corporate oligarchy imperialist behaviour. Still, Canada and US are unable to participate in the Austrian suit.

Well, individual countries have rights (up until the ‘boots hit the ground’). US global oppression through compliance is accomplished by steps. One step changes many more. Standing up to Facebook extortion is a step in a direction toward a more simple security. One in which we have more personal control.

Thank goodness the US citizens have learned that constitutionally a sheriff has more power than the Feds and states are enforcing their, OUR, rights. Sad thing is, we will be accountable for the actions of our corporate government. Thankfully, other world powers know We the People are not the enemy and we ourselves are waking up.

Change is coming…hold the hope with a smile and bring forth miracles.

Casey on Issues

Techcrunch November:

Austria global info:

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